Sex Education – One Jewish Perspective

As part of my work, I read many divrei torah on everything from Zionism, environmentalism, consumerism and most often, the weekly parasha. Usually the parasha shiurim, no matter what the week, retell the narrative of the sidra, and conclude with a moral lesson that one should attempt to implement in the following week. Cute… but not always gripping stuff.

It is for this reason, that I was pleasantly surprised to read a very main stream rabbi, Shlomo Riskin, writing on a very mainstream website, Jerusalem Post, about what some may consider a taboo area in terms of topics for divrei torah.

For those of you who are fans of the weekly parasha like me, you will have found the past months quite difficult. You see, the torah starts with some great narratives and heroes, Abraham and Sarah, Tamar and Yehuda, Joseph and the decent to Egypt, Moses, the great Exodus… and after this gripping formative narrative, …. well on the face of it… a whole lot of boring details about an ancient temple which was essentially a massive slaughterhouse of animals with literally a river of blood flowing through it.

From Parashat Terumah onwards great detail is given about the construction of the Mishkan, the portable sanctuary that was the centre of the Israelites' religious life during the years they wandered in the wilderness. The Book of Leviticus (named thematically so due to it’s laws concerning the Levites and the sacrificial cult) deals almost exclusively with this topic. For a non temple fan like myself, what can I learn from the parshiot at this time?

Rabbi Riskin piqued my interested again in parsha with his commentary on the parsaha last month entitled Parshot Vayakhel-Pekudei: Sacred Sex.

Referencing the pasuk "The cherubs were with wings spread upwards, sheltering the Ark cover... with their faces toward one another" - (Exodus 37:9) he explained the symbolism of these two lovely headpieces of the Ark by quoting the following from the Babylonian Talmud, Yoma 54a.

"Rabbi Katina said, 'When the Israelites would ascend [to the Holy Temple] on the festival, [the priest/kohen] would roll up the curtain for them, and display for them the cherubs, who were joined together [in an embrace].' The priest/kohen would then tell them, 'Behold the beloved feelings for you on the part of the Omnipresent are like the beloved feelings of a male for a female' "

Rabba bar Rav Shila explains that "[The cherubs appeared in the engravings] as a man joined in an embrace with his female companion"

Hold on! Hold on! So the cherubs were embraced in a sexual manner on top of the ark. Many would think that this would be the last place for such an image to appear. But no! In fact Rabbi Akiva who taught that if each of the 24 books of the Bible is holy, the Song of Songs(which deals exclusively with an erotic relationship between young lovers) is the Holy of Holies.

And Rabbi Akiva did not merely mean to say that the lover in the Song of Songs is the Almighty and the beloved is the nation Israel; after all, the sages have already taught us that no verse is to be completely detached from its literal meaning. Therefore what R. Akiva is teaching is a lofty truth: every proper and passionate love relationship between man and woman resembles the cosmic love between God and Israel. Love is a sacred feeling, marriage is a sacred union.

So what’s the message young Ittay learns from this? Well, young kids are always going to be interested in learning about sex, and frankly, I think the Torah is generally going to be the last place they look for such information. But no, perhaps the torah, if more divrei torah were explored in such a manner, should be the first place to learn about sex. Rabbi Riskin concludes:

So it is tragic when our young receive their sex education from the street or from impure movies and Internet porn. Our educators must be trained to teach about sexual relationships from our Bible, just as these teachings once emerged from the engravings of the cherubs. Parents must explain to their children not only the evils of immorality, and not only the legitimate joys of marital sex, but also the sanctity of the sexual union from the perspective of Judaism. Sex must once again be joined to love and marriage, and be seen as one of the great wonders of a fulfilled family life. And such education has to begin no later than the sixth grade!

What will bring the Israeli’s and Palestinians closer towards Peace?

You will have to believe me when I tell you that I read an excessive amount of news and opinion regarding the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I am writing what is now my 50th entry on this blog which is devoted mostly to this issue. Absorbing the news is for me, as it is for you given that you read this blog, an endless outlet for introspection on what in means to be a Jew and a Zionist in the 20th century. Most articles you and I read about our beloved state, criticize excessively the decisions of the Ehud Olmert, or praise excessively the noble and moral IDF. Either way, both perspectives always find some way of mentioning the Holocaust, Aparthied, and general stereotypes of all Arabs as fanatical Islamists, and all Jews as the extension of the colonial arm of the great Satan, USA.

It is with this in mind, that I was pleasantly surprised to read this thoroughly sobering and pragmatic response to Jimmy Carter’s latest attack on Israel. It is penned by Bradley Burston of Haaretz.

The occupation is horrid, but it is not apartheid.

The occupation must be opposed not because it resembles apartheid, but because it is overtly destructive to both Palestinians and Israelis.

The use of the term apartheid actually contributes to one of the primary reasons why the occupation continues. It is the "Oom Shmoom" syndrome - the Israeli mindset that says "The whole world curses and mislabels us for anything we do or don't do, so we might as well go on doing what we're doing."

As it is, it is too easy for Israelis to maintain a state of denial over the occupation and its evils. It is too easy for Israelis to dismiss hyperbole, to wave away comparisons to the Nazis and other genocidal regimes.

What is needed is honest criticism of the occupation as it is. What is needed is exposure of the specific ways in which Israel's policies cause harm to the harmless, and, in the process, are bad for Israel as well.

The occupation will not end because of a thousand rockets, or ten thousand. It will not end through boycotts by publicity starved academics.

It will end by means of Israelis being exposed to and coming to terms with wrongheaded and often immoral acts committed in the name of security, acts which often harm only non-combatants. It will come through the actions of Israeli courts, of a U.S. administration actively seeking solutions, and, eventually, though the actions of courageous Israeli politicians.

It will come through diplomacy, international involvement, and a process in which mutual demonization gives way to compromise.

What is needed is an attempt to approach Israelis as human beings trying, if often failing, to deal with an impossible array of complex variables.

Human beings, not evil, bloodthirsty colonialist Zionist thugs. Human beings, not a collection of facile, mean-spirited labels.

Zionists and Israel hater’s alike, I hope you are both listening!

Foriegn Workers in Israel

Today’s Haaretz editorial has commented on yet another example of our beloved state failing to live up to it’s mantle of “or lagoyim.”

The government approved a scandalous bill yesterday - submitted by Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Agriculture Minister Shalom Simhon -to import 3,000 foreign laborers to work in agriculture. They would join the 26,000 foreign workers already employed by the Israeli agriculture industry. The bill runs contrary to previous government decisions to gradually reduce the annual quotas for foreign workers in agriculture, construction and industry.

It seems as though the real ‘or lagoyim’ is Australia (for a change).

The deputy governor of the Bank of Israel, Prof. Zvi Eckstein, is in the process of formulating a comprehensive plan to drastically reduce the number of foreign workers in Israel. Eckstein, an economist and expert in labor market policy, relies on a model adopted by Australia and intended to curb the entry of millions of foreign workers from other countries in the region. Instead of bringing in a foreign and cheap labor force, Australia introduced agricultural mechanization. Eckstein thinks there is no reason for the Israeli government not to adopt a similar policy and subsidize farmers who bring mechanization into their fields and hothouses. Given the small number of landowners who make a living from agriculture, this is not an impossible task.

Yet the Israelis prefer to hire the foreign workers. Why? What happened to A.D Gordon’s vision? Already in 1920 he wrote “The Jewish people has been completely cut off from nature and imprisoned within city walls for two thousand years. We have been accustomed to every form of life, except a life of labor- of labor done at our behalf and for its own sake. It will require the greatest effort of will for such a people to become normal again. We lack the principal ingredient for national life. We lack the habit of labor… for it is labor which binds a people to its soil and to its national culture, which in its turn is an outgrowth of the people's toil and the people's labor. ...

I find this quote so poignant. By not labouring on our land, we are weakening the connection (and perhaps our rights of ownership) to Eretz Yisrael.

Jonathan Sacks – To heal a fractured world

Hashem OZ le’amo yiten. Tonight, OZ (well specifically us Melbourne yids) was hosting the Chief Rabbi. He began by sharing a teaching from the Rambam who suggested that the world is finely balanced between good and evil, so much so, that just one act either way has the potential to change the world in its entirety. Below are four holy people who put this principle into action. (Warning: If you don’t like shmultzy feel good “I can change the world” stories then stop reading here)

There was once a woman who travelled the world collecting all the starfish that were washed up on beaches. After she would pick up each starfish, she would throw it back into the sea, in order that it may have another chance at life. An adversary asked her, surely you don’t believe you can save all the starfish in the world. There must be hundreds of thousands of beaches in this world full of starfish, and then, millions of washed up starfish. As this woman threw another starfish into the sea she said, perhaps I cannot help all the starfish in the world, but I surely just made a difference to this one.


Professor David Baum who was Britain’s leading Paediatrician and President of the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health from 1997-99 played a huge role in lowering infant mortality around the world through his advances in medical research. He travelled the world over, from Thailand to Moscow, establishing best practice child health care. He was also a proud religious Zionist. David Baum’s final endeavour was assisting in the establishment of a world-class paediatric facility for Palestinian children in Gaza City. The Chief Rabbi explained how David was a shinning example of how to heal a fractured world, which involves reaching out to our adversaries as much as our friends.

Sue Burns suffered from a debilitating disease named osteosclerosis which hospitalised her for her entire life. She was not even able to sit up straight in a chair. From her hospital bed, she acquired two computers and a telephone and established what is now known as the Tikva Helpline. This phone counselling service offers assistance to thousands of people with disabilities. She is the only ever recipient of an MBE from the Queen lying down. When the Chief rabbi came to see her in her final days, she ended up comforting him more than he did her. She said, perhaps Hashem needs me somewhere else now.

In the Genesis narrative of the great conspiracy by the sons of Yaacov to dispose of their brother Joseph, the Torah states what must be a false hood. Vayishma Reuven Veyatizleyhu miyadam – And Reuven heard (his brother's rage against Joseph) and he saved him from their hands; he said, 'let us not destroy a life.' (Genesis 37:21)

This must be false, because we know that the brothers did eventually sell Joseph as a slave. Rabbi Sacks explained that this is one instance where the Torah credits a person, for a good thought, even though the deed was never carried through. The midrash goes onto to add that had Reuven known that this pasuk would be written about him in the Torah, he would have saved Joseph.

Now if Reuven had saved Joseph, there would have been no exile in mitzrayim, and no redemption. But Reuven didn’t know what would be written in the Torah about him after his passing. Like Reuven (which is also my father’s name, alav hashalom) We don’t know what will be written about us in years to come. We don’t know how one act can make a difference.

Dear readers, I invite you to leave any thoughts in the comments section about an act of chessed you have performed. Who knows it may encourage others. If not, then just do it simply because you deserve to be congratulated. As the Chief Rabbi said continually, healing a fractured world is like a butterfly effect. It only takes one small act to transform our existence for the better.

Kol Yisrael Arevim

In today’s Haaretz I was pleased to read a poll that reported one out of every two households in central and southern Israel gave money or goods to residents of the North during the war.

The poll, conducted by Dr. Haggai Katz of the Israel Center for Third Sector Research at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, also found that one out of four households had hosted residents from the North, primarily relatives or friends. Five percent of the households hosted strangers.

The survey also found that contributions and volunteering by the Orthodox were only slightly higher than among the secular; during peace time, the gap between the two groups is much greater.

I know on this blog I tend to sometimes focus on the flaws of Israel, but reading news like this makes me feel so proud of our little country, her citizens, and the way they behave to each other. A real or lagoyim.

May this Ellul be one filled with teshuva and accounting of our actions.

(Picture - A family in the North removed strategic roof tiles so that the light from their attic spells out "BiHatzalacha" (Good Luck) -- its clearly visible to all IAF planes and helicopters flying into Lebanon from Israel –from the muqata)

There is no military solution

Last week Former MK Naomi Chazan and Arnold Roth, whose daughter was murdered in the Sbarro bombing were interviewed on Late Night Live hosted by Philip Adams. They had divergent opinions about the current war against Lebanon, but both treated each other with respect. They repeated the views of the other before they spoke, they addressed each other with their proper titles and they didn’t raise their voices.

A dialogue of this manner and maturity is what I was thirsting for, but thoroughly lacked during a number of experiences I had this weekend.

Professor Naomi Chazan repeated several times during the interview, as if it were a mantra handed down by a yogi master, “there is no military solution to this conflict.” It sounded so simple.

Discussing the conflict with my colleagues in Zionist education last Sunday, I felt that opining anything other than a military solution to Israel’s woes was heresy. One said: “It is wrong when Lebanese civilians die, but I don’t feel sad for them.” Another said: “There are no ‘two sides’ to this conflict. There is only one side. Ours! This is a war for our survival, for our right to exist” It could have been Anilewicz speaking in the Warsaw Ghetto. It wasn’t. I was in Melbourne.

Gideon Levy wrote in Haaretz today that our favorite phrase "an existential war" is nothing more than a ridiculous slogan, as it was actually a “war of choice” from the beginning.

Another of my acquaintances said that those who feel guilty for what Israel is doing in Lebanon are not real Jews. They have no pride in their tradition.

Moving on to Monday night, I went to hear Labour-Meimad MK Rabbi Michael Melchior speak at the house of Mark Baker, the President of my Kehilla, Shira Hadasha. He said about Qana “if you see crushed children and it doesn’t move you, something is blocked in your heart.” Hearing Rabbi Melchior, I was reminded of the midrash in Talmud Sanhedrin 39 about the angels who wanted to sing to Hashem as the Egyptians were drowning in the sea. God says to them, "My creations are drowning and you are singing before me?'"

Rabbi Melchior is often invited to speak on panels in Israel where he is thoroughly outnumbered by those who disagree with him. They say that the Geula (redemption) depends on how much land can be accumulated. He asks them to show where this is written in the shulchan aruch. They can’t. I think that the ideology of those religiously opposed to ceding land is much more potent than Torah.

On one page of the Talmud, there is a debate about when the world was created. The debate is not regarding the year in which the world was created, although this sparks great debate in the secular world. Instead, the debate focuses on which DAY the world was created. Two dates are offered. The 1st of Nissan, the month of our Exodus from Egypt, and the 1st of Tishrei, the creation of Adam and Chava.

Tishrei is a universal date for all mankind, Nissan is a particular date to the Jews. The rabbis say both dates are correct. Why? Because the tension between the two aspects is what keeps Judaism in balance. To only focus on our problems is as wrong as focussing only on the problems of everyone else.

Jews are perfectly placed to be the leaders of this new dialogue. We have one foot in the western liberal camp, and another steeped in dialogue with the Holy writings. Our home is not somewhere between Canada and Mexico, but in the Middle East surrounded by Egypt, Syria, Palestine, Jordan and Lebanon. Is there a better place in the world to start talking peace?

We must realise that as long as there is no peace for the Palestinians, there will be no peace for the Jews. The silly labels of pro-Israeli and pro-Palestinian are infantile. One can only be pro-peace or pro-war.

Many criticize the anti-war camp by asking what other option did Israel have on the 12th of July when Hezbolla kidnapped our soldiers? How else could have Israel have responded? Melchior did not say whether we did the right thing or not in launching operation “Change of Direction” but what he did say is that now is the time to prevent the next war. What I understood him to mean is that once an incident has happened between us and our enemies, it is too late to start negotiating and building bridges at that point. Rabbi Melchior is not a pacifist and acknowledged the need for a military option. But it is not the only option. What we must do now is start creating the situation where it is preferable to choose the path of peace and compromise rather than war. I don’t want to be writing this again in 6 years after the next Lebanon war, God forbid. I don’t want our grandchildren to say to us, why didn’t you guys speak to each other earlier?

And what about the threat posed from Iran? Again Melchior said the best thing we could do to isolate Ahmadnijad is make peace with the Palestinians. He explained how when Rabin signed an agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, it was not because he was a great humanitarian. It was because he wanted to isolate the Shiite extremists. He could see the threat from back then. How much more can we see it now? How much more should this impel us to act in a way that leads us to a two state solution immediately? Repeated polls show that approximately 75% of both Palestinians and Israelis support a two state solution based on the 1967 borders if this would guarantee an end to all hostilities. The will is there. It is up to the people to make it happen.

The reason we should leave Judea and Samaria is not because of the demographic argument. The reason we should leave is because it is wrong to occupy the Palestinians in the way that we do. It is wrong for us to use the sort of force we use against them.

I agree with Rabbi Melchior in saying that if one believes in the sanity of us Jews and in the future of humankind, then the path of dialogue and tolerance must be tried. After Rabbi Melchior signed the Alexandria interfaith agreement, a Yediot Achronot reporter ridiculed him because the next day there was a terrorist attack in Rechov Yafo, Jerusalem. The reporter said, “See, your dialogue can not bring peace.” What this reporter, and many of my dear friends who have a deep love for Israel don’t realise is that making peace is a process that takes many generations, and must involve the citizen on the street more than the politician. It will take many years, but there is will on both sides to make it happen. Let the healing begin, and may we all learn how to be Menchen from this great leader of our time, Rabbi Michael Melchior.

To all those who have lost loved ones in this past month, may these lives not be lost in vain and may we merit to see this path of healing begin whilst this narrow door of opportunity is still open.

In King Solomon’s famous writing Shir HaShirim, we have a love story between a man and woman set in the hills of Jerusalem. The man is lusting after the dark skinned woman for many chapters until he finally finds her. He knocks on her door, and she decides to keep him waiting for a while, She washes her feet and makes herself look pretty. The man gives up waiting and leaves. The moment for the union is lost. Rabbi Melchior quotes this to our struggle for peace. Now is the time to knock on the door, and hope there is an answer. What alternative do we have?